Finding Freedom from Your Inner Critic: Understanding Core Beliefs and EMDR Therapy
We all have a running internal narrative about ourselves and the world. Sometimes it’s kind and encouraging; other times, it can be harsh and critical. These deep-seated opinions are called core beliefs, and they have a powerful impact on our emotions, behaviors, and relationships.
What Are Core Beliefs?
Core beliefs are the fundamental, often unconscious, "truths" we hold about ourselves. They are like the roots of a tree, hidden from view but determining the health and growth of everything above ground—our thoughts, feelings, and actions.
We aren't born with these beliefs; we learn them from our life experiences, especially from childhood, significant relationships, and traumatic events. Because they feel so true, we rarely question them.
The Two Sides of the Coin: Negative vs. Positive Core Beliefs
Negative Core Beliefs
These are distorted and unhelpful beliefs that make us feel stuck, worthless, or anxious. They often fall into three main categories:
Helplessness: "I am not good enough," "I am a failure," "I am weak," "I am out of control."
Unlovability: "I am unlovable," "I am different," "I am unwanted," "I will be abandoned."
Worthlessness: "I am bad," "I am a burden," "I don't deserve happiness."
How They Show Up:
Thoughts: "Why even try? I'll just fail." (Helplessness)
Emotions: Feeling deep shame, chronic anxiety, or sadness.
Behaviors: Avoiding challenges, sabotaging relationships, perfectionism, people-pleasing.
Positive Core Beliefs
These are adaptive, compassionate, and realistic beliefs that promote resilience and well-being. They are the antidote to the negative ones.
Self-Efficacy: "I am capable," "I can handle challenges," "My feelings are valid."
Lovability: "I am worthy of love and connection," "I am enough as I am."
Self-Worth: "I am a good person," "I deserve respect and happiness."
How They Show Up:
Thoughts: "This is hard, but I can get through it." (Self-Efficacy)
Emotions: Feeling confident, secure, and at peace.
Behaviors: Pursuing goals, setting healthy boundaries, forming secure relationships.
Why Is It So Hard to Just "Think Positive"?
When you have a strong negative core belief, no amount of positive affirmations can easily dislodge it. This is because:
They Feel Like Facts: The belief isn't just a thought; it feels like an absolute truth about your identity.
They Are Connected to Memory: Negative core beliefs are often formed and locked in during emotionally charged or traumatic events. The memory is stored in the brain with all the original disturbing images, emotions, and body sensations.
Confirmation Bias: Your brain actively looks for evidence that confirms the belief ("See, I was rejected, that proves I'm unlovable") and ignores evidence that contradicts it.
So, how do we truly change these deep-seated beliefs? This is where EMDR therapy comes in.
How EMDR Therapy Helps Rewire Your Brain
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a powerful, evidence-based therapy that helps the brain heal from the emotional distress of disturbing memories which fuel negative core beliefs.
EMDR doesn't erase the memory, but it helps your brain reprocess it correctly, so it no longer triggers intense emotional pain.
The EMDR Process: Moving from Stuck to Adaptive
Think of a disturbing memory as a wound that never healed. EMDR helps the brain complete its natural healing process.
Phase 1: History-Taking
We identify the specific memories and events that created or reinforced your negative core beliefs (e.g., "I am not good enough").
Phase 2: Preparation
You’ll learn coping skills and techniques to handle emotional distress, ensuring you feel safe and in control.
Phase 3-6: Assessment & Desensitization (The Reprocessing)
We target a specific memory and the negative belief associated with it ("I am not good enough"). While you hold the memory in mind, you’ll engage in Bilateral Stimulation (BLS)—usually following the therapist's finger with your eyes, or through alternating taps or sounds.
This BLS seems to stimulate the same processes that occur during REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, helping the brain access and reprocess the "stuck" memory.
The memory starts to lose its emotional charge. The thought, "I am not good enough," may simply feel less true.
Phase 7: Installation
This is the key shift! We actively link the original, now less-disturbing memory to a new Positive Belief that you would rather have about yourself (e.g., "I am capable and worthy"). We use BLS to "install" and strengthen this new belief until it feels genuinely true.
Before EMDR: Memory of failing a test → Feeling: Shame → Belief: "I am a failure."
After EMDR: Memory of failing a test → Feeling: Neutral/Compassionate → Belief: "I failed a test, but I am a capable person who can learn from my mistakes."
The Journey from Negative to Positive
EMDR helps you move from being a prisoner of your past to being the author of your present. By processing the root memories, the negative core beliefs lose their power, allowing the positive, adaptive beliefs to take root naturally.
You are not your negative core beliefs. They are echoes of old pain. With EMDR, you can quiet the echoes and hear your own true, strong voice again.
This handout is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapeutic advice.